Not Halloween

I could skip Halloween.

I don’t like scary. Or gross. Halloween is the obstacle to the good holidays. I would trade all the jack-o-lanterns and skeletons for turkeys. The pumpkins can stay. They match the Thanksgiving color palette. Gold and russet leaves. Brown turkeys with red waddles hanging down. Those are the decorations I prefer mid-October.

Lazy Saturday mornings are for perusing the paper and watching Food Network. Not in October. They show you how to make a cheesecake that looks like an eyeball. Who wants to eat an eye?

Photo by Gerax Sotelo on Unsplash

Bringing in the mail in October can also be frightening. Even Good Housekeeping tries to evoke creepy holiday feelings. A cake shaped like a skull served next to hot dog witch fingers is not appealing to me.

In November my brain can easily conjure the smell of the perfectly roasted bird pulled from the oven on the cooking shows and in the magazine photos. I marvel at how easily professionals roll out the dough and create perfect lattice crusts. Eyeball cake does not make me salivate the way turkeys and pies do.

Photo by Claudio Schwarz on Unsplash

December brings more cooking shows and glossy magazines that are truly masterpieces. Special homemade meals and the most gorgeous treats. Watching cookie decorators is like being in the presence of the great masters. My dabbling will never make anything so gorgeous, but my family does devour my fudge.

Who needs goblin decor when you could be enjoying turkeys, pies, stars, glitter, trees and cookies?

I serve Thanksgiving dinner by the light of my twinkling tree.

I’m accused of rushing the seasons and holidays, but the reality is I am extending the feel good ones by eliminating the frightening one.

Turkeys surround my Christmas tree in November. Valentine hearts match the tree well in January. Until the dusty ornaments force me to see the new year progress without twinkle lights.

Photo by Behnam Norouzi on Unsplash

*****

Before you attack me, I buy snickers and kit kats and twix bars for the bowl by the door when I illuminate my entryway on October 31st. I throw handfuls of treats into waiting pillowcases and pumpkin buckets as I openly marvel at their costumes whether cute or creepy. I do not begrudge the gangly ones who grew fast and seem older than they are or the teenagers who just want to traipse around with their pals. They all get treats and wishes for a Happy Halloween.

Then I return to planning my Thanksgiving menu and addressing my Christmas cards.